Discussion Question Number Three, Part Deux

Expectations About Relationships

Chapter three of The Essential Guide to Interpersonal Communication provides a tremendously interesting perception concerning the various expectations about relationships, particularly, the tendencies in the unrealistic and realistic expectations formed through them.

Unrealistic expectations versus realistic expectations partake in a large portion when getting to know someone. Sometimes, we tend to form opinions and preconceived notions about what we personally hope people to be. We see the way a person dresses, the way they treat others, and in general, the way we expect them and desire them to live as in our heads. We see the good, accept the bad, and hope for the best when it comes down to those moments of sharing our most intimate secrets and thoughts with one another.

The benefits of pertaining realistic expectations can, for instance, save yourself the time of getting into a relationship that could possibly end up becoming too conflicting, in regards to opposing interests and beliefs that will ultimately turn off the motivation and joy of getting to know the person even further. Along with this possibility, by being aware of the realistic circumstances and limitations the relationship may contain, you may be able to develop and strengthen the relationship itself by presenting these circumstances and limitations as they are, accepting them, and learning from them. By inviting realistic expectations, we stray away from fantasy attributes and characteristics, and instead, really learn about the significant other we have involved ourselves with, truly, wholly, and earnestly.

Unrealistic expectations ultimate causes conflicts. We often see quite a few movies where relationships are exaggerated and dramatized to fit the plot and give interest rather than satisfy and illustrate real-life relationships and friendships. Society develops these ideas of what is deemed an important and a successful relationship, and what sometimes happens is that we all forget what might work perfectly fine with some people, won't work for everyone. However, because this is not how all us of may portray things, we feel our expectations have not been met, and therefore tend to take for granted and pass by what could have been a great relationship because of what we've learned through societal norms.